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Part I Writing 标准版 My opinion on certificate craze The growing tendency among college students to get all kinds of certificates has now evolved into a craze. Just randomly ask a student what he or she is busily engaged in doing, quite possibly, you would get the answer that he or she is preparing for a certificate of some kind. So, why's the craze? The reason behind this phenomenon is common — the enormous pressure of finding a job. Faced with a harsh job market, most students have no choice but to seek more certificates to parlay their qualifications. Another factor is that diploma and certificates still weighs heavily in terms of signifying one's ability. For the sake of increasing their odds of landing a better job, the students are compelled to run from one exam to another. Though I have an open mind toward the craze on certificates, I suggest that students should be more rational when it comes to certificates, since they do not necessarily tell their ability. Instead, they should be more involved in learning and capability boosting, thus, opportunities would come quite naturally. 文章点评: 这是一篇“中等偏上”的学生作文。 本文先对学生的考证热进行简介,引出全篇;接着分析这一现象背后的原因;整体看思路清晰,逻辑严密,行文流畅,句式多变,用语较为地道。 本篇亮点表达: The growing tendency … has now evolved into… be busily engaged in doing The reason behind… harsh job market have no choice but to… parlay their qualifications sth. weighs heavily in terms of… increasing one's odds of… be involved in doing … be compelled to do… have an open mind toward… capability boosting 本文有待提高之处: 1. 文章结构上,能看得出该同学试图采用议论文的“三段式”(提出问题、分析问题、解决问题)。逻辑严谨,论证严密;句式表达灵活,用语较为地道。 2. 微观语言点方面,[来源:考研加油绽]有个主谓一致的方面的错误(diploma and certificates still weighs heavily);有些语句稍显啰嗦,比quite possibly, you would get the answer that… 大可简化成you'd most likely be told that… 更好,意思没有丝毫减损,表达力反而增强许多;另外某些用语多重复,比如job多次出现;为了避免此类现象,文中的the enormous pressure of finding a job 不妨改为 the enormous pressure of getting employed。 从整体看,本篇文章不错,值得参考借鉴,不过用于方面还有待提高。 高分版 Certificate craze Recently the phenomenon of certificate craze has become a big concern of the public. It is also a new craze in the university, which seems like a routine activity on campus, for certificates do play a vital role when students look for a decent job. Admittedly, there are different purposes behind this phenomenon. Some people aim at certificates because of the employment pressure. With the admission expansion of colleges, a great many graduates have to face the fierce competition in the job market. So it is the certificates that can make them more competitive. However, some others consider all the diploma and certificates important standards by which a person's ability can be measured. They spare no effort to get the certificates for the sole purpose of proving that they are qualified in a certain field. Moreover, there are those who just want to enrich their life by preparing for the certificates because they really enjoy their progress. From my point of view, we should be more rational when it comes to certificates, since certificates do not necessarily prove one's ability. Being crazy in getting certifications blindly is nothing but wasting time. To conclude, we should focus on improving our ability but not merely getting a certificate. 文章点评: 本次六级作文探讨的是考生比较熟悉的话题——高校考证书热;本次试题延续了以往的考试风格,关注点仍然放在与学生息息相关的话题上;从选题角度来说,考生还是比较好把握的。需要注意的是由于第二部分可能需要列出多点原因,考生在该部分需要注意论述的条理性;此外,在保证句法通顺的前提下,尽可能做到表达的多样化。 首先,在考生拿到题目的时候,应该先认真审题,心里大致对接下来文章的安排有一个底。提起证书热的话,很多考生都会联想到就业压力,学校给予的压力以及学生自身的需求;因此,全文可做如下安排; 第一段,考生可以整体阐述一下该话题,陈述下目前存在的考证热现象; 第二段,考生可以对考证热背后存在的各种各样的目的进行拓展;比如说由于日益严重的就业压力,以及有的学校时不时给学生灌输的压力;或者是学生自身从身边感受到的一些压力,都可能导致考证热的产生。 第三段要求考生对于该现象给出自己的理解,考生应在这里持一种客观的态度。因为考证本身并不是一种错误,但是考生应当注意从题目“考证热”出发,重点放在“热”字上,对这一现象做出最理性的评述。 综合来讲,本篇文章观点明确,思路清晰;在第二段给出的例证具有代表性;此外,文章中有用到不少的亮点词汇;唯一比较遗憾的是,由于时间和篇幅的限制,论证的展开还未完全挖掘出来,但在如此有限的条件下,可以称得上佳作了。 外教版 The job market today is increasingly sophisticated, requiring workers to have specialized knowledge in their fields. As a result, becoming certified is a trend among today's job seeking youth. More and more people, students especially, look at obtaining certification as a means to getting a better job and, therefore, enjoying brighter future. There are as many certificates as there are fields of study. Lawyers will take the LSAT, business majors will take the GMAT to further their study in the US, and those who study a foreign language, like English, might take the TOEFL, TOEIC, or any number of English certification exams. Is this necessary? Or, is the “certification craze” just a trend that will eventually pass? I myself have obtained two different certifications: one in Japanese (N2) and another in teaching English as a foreign language (TEFL). Both of these certifications have been beneficial in getting good jobs. Therefore, it is my opinion that, trend or not, the results of becoming certified are real and can be invaluable in opening up future opportunities. 文章点评: 1. 逻辑结构上,本文大体也是按照“提出问题(考证热的现象)”“分析问题(背后的动力)”和“解决问题(个人的观点)”的结构展开。 2. 本文的亮点非常多,[来源:考研加油绽]用语非常地道,用英语思维催动出来的英语文章,才是真正的极品。相比用中式思维催动出来的英语文章,这篇文章是很美味的,强烈建议大家背诵下来。大家记得《天龙八部》吗?鸠摩智用小无相功催动出的招式是敌不过藏经阁里的扫地和尚的。总之,我们大可不必刻意使用难词难句,其实表意明确,用语地道的文章,就肯定可以拿到高分。 |
[发布者:yezi] | |||
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