You should be the poster child for birth control.

You're so ugly when you went to a haunted house they offered you a job.

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

It's kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence.

If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse!

Shock me, say something intelligent.

Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.

You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!

You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.

If you had another brain, it would be lonely.

Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

I look into your eyes and get the feeling nobody is driving.

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.

Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd one's for you.

God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.